I don't have all of the answers. I don't even know all of the possible questions. What I do know is this - there is a difference between being a "Single" Mom and being a "Solo" Mom - both in meaning and in how life is lived day to day. While I acknowledge that there are a great number of dad's out there who are living the solo parenting life as well, what I've been called to share with you applies specifically to the Solo Mom. I can only speak from what I know, and solo motherhood is one thing that I know very well.
Flying "SOLO" - Let me give the definition of "solo" parenting from my perspective as a solo mom: I am the only parent that my children have actively in their lives. The circumstances for each of my children's fathers not being present in their lives are as different as my children themselves, but at the end of each and every day, the fact remains that I am the ONLY parent with whom they have a constant relationship. Everything that I will share with you is what I know from my experience.
Solo vs. Single - Now, being a "solo" mom differs from being a "single" mom, in that there is NO shared custody or co-parenting (I don't even know what that looks like). There are NO weekends off from the kids ("me" time is usually in the bathroom, and even that gets interrupted). There is NO physical, financial, or emotional support from dad, whatsoever (no comment). This includes NO active acknowledgment or involvement in raising the children that you both took enjoyment (for the most part) in creating. NONE...AT...ALL. Even a court order for child support garnishment tends to have little to no bearing in dad's sense of responsibility to his children. Again, I understand that this can go either way (dead-beat mom or dad), I've seen it. But I've also seen, that in most cases, it's much easier for a solo dad to find a committed significant other to help love and raise his family than it is for a solo mom. But that's another conversation entirely. So, once again, in no way am I bashing men, fathers or even dead-beat dad's. I'm just expressing my reality as a solo mom.
That being said, I pray that everything I share - every experience, truth and solution, as I've been given - reaches whomever is in need of it, and that it is received with all of the love in which it is intended. Mom's, just remember, that this chosen life - and yes, you chose it, with every decision you've made to this point (some good, some not so good) - this Solo Mom life, starts with Survival but ends with Success!
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